Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd.  After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone,  and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.  Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.  When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
                 Matthew 14: 22-31




I talked to a friend from college last night at my "th" reunion who walks through the shadowlands herself.  She said my Praise post read like the end of a novel where the hero dies and everyone says, "Nooooo!"  So, to be fair, I am posting on what my normal day to day is with Praise.  Our lives with him are not that traumatic on a daily basis.  There's a lot of care that he requires, but it's our life and our normal routine.  There's joy in the midst of it.  He really is a cheerful boy and a child who keeps me from getting too serious about everything.  He loves it when I'm goofy and silly and especially when I make up songs with his name in them.  We just do our thing and don't stress about it too much.  


What that post was about was partially pain over a friend with a special needs child who was grossly misunderstood.  Pain was spilling out of her pores and I didn't like it one bit.  I wanted to give her and others like her a voice and an ability for others to really understand what parents of these children feel at times.  Partially, (a large partially) was Praise's inability to even stand that weekend along with neck and back pain that didn't seem to want to leave and had been hovering for close to a month.  Basically, I saw the waves blowing all around me and lost sight of Jesus.  I repent.  I repent.  


Praise is back to his "normal" now, but his unwillingness to stand painted a future that I do not desire and am praying never happens.  Fortunately, I know that if that is his future, there are people out there who know how to care for children who don't walk or stand and what equipment would be necessary.  As long as our eyes remain on Jesus and see that everlasting, never ending love He has for us, we'll be OK.  We may even walk on water.